Advent Children Series
by Evil-Queen-Charlotte
Summary: Tales of your Advent Children stars you never knew.
1. Emo Boy

The Adventure of Emo Boy

The automatic doors to the Verizon store opened and out walked Vincent. He was carrying his purchase in the little plastic bag that he got for free. He had contemplated going to Samsung just for the joy of Matrix but he didn't.

Once safely in the middle of nowhere he pulled out his brand new, shiny, black Motorola. He turned it on and looked at the screen. It showed the time, menu, and service. He then spent about one hour, twelve minutes, and forty-three seconds fooling around with the camera. He took a random picture of a random bird and put it as a random wallpaper for his new random phone. To follow Vincent decided he needed a good ring tone so he listened to the selections on his phone.

He played the first one and immediately stopped it recognizing Loz's ring tone; yes the man whore's ring tone. He switched to the next tone and this is what he heard:

'My name is Cloud, I have a sword. I fight cataurs because I'm bored. I like to ride on chocobos, it's better then having afros-'

That's when he switched to the next one because that just wasn't depressing enough. Nor was the next one 'Kung Fu in a Box' music, also known as, the chocobo theme.

"This is one I like," said Vincent to himself not recognizing Setheroth's theme. He chose the 'depressing' scary music and put his phone in his pocket; just waiting for someone to call him. That's when he realizes no one knew his phone number (let alone knew he had a phone).

So he pulled out some paper, wrote something on it, and hurried to his nearest Kinko's. He then distributed his one hundred and fifty papers to random people, places, and things nearby. He went back to his spot in the middle of no where he held his phone staring at it intently.

About ten hours later his phone rang and he answered it quickly.

"Hello, Vincent speaking," he said attempting to sound important.

"I called for some of your lessons," said a voice on the other line.


	2. Mother Brothers

"I think it is time for a new fashion," said Kadaj.

"But what?" asked Loz.

"What about these?!" yelled Yazoo shoving a magazine flipped open to a page in Kadaj's face.

"Hm…nice find. Yes the trim is good and the fabric is good. Yes we shall go and purchase these," said Kadaj and they left speeding down the road. They arrived at the store. It was located between Walgreen's and Target, down the street from Kinko's and across town from Verizon and Samsung. And about a mile away from middle of nowhere.

First they tried the on to make sure they would fit.

"It's a good fit. Moveable and you can breathe," said Yazoo.

"Let's get them," said Loz. They got in line and waited. While they were standing there like you would at the DMV Kadaj caught a glimpse of something on paper. It was written in fairly neat hand writing. He pulled it off the wall and read it, which may surprise many of you that he actually knew b how /b to read.

i Emo Lessons!

Want to be depressed? Want to leard where the most important veins are in your body? Want to know the newest Emo tread? Then call this number for Emo Lessons now!

(505) 619-8626

Your mother would be proud! /i 

" 'My mother would be proud.' . . . I'm signing up!" said Kadaj immediately pulling out his phone. He dialed the number and the other line was picked up almost immediately.

"Hello. Vincent speaking," said the voice on the other line.

"I called for your lessons," said Kadaj.

"When are you avalible?" asked Vincent.

"Now," replied Kadaj.

"Meet me in the middle of the middle of nowhere," said Vincent.

"Yes," said Kadaj and they hung up. Loz and Yazoo came over holding bags.

"Let's put them on," said Yazoo. They found a gas statioin bathroom and changed.

"Where to next? Want to bug Cloud more about mother?" asked Loz.

"No it's time to make mother proud," said Kadaj and they started their bikes and sped off.

"When they were about halfway they were pulled over by the police, clearly for speeding.

"I'm sorry officer but I'm in a hurry," said Kadaj.

"I don't care if you are late to the Strip Club for your day job. You were speeding so you will sit there until I'm done," said the police officer clearly commenting on their new fashion. Leather jumpsuits with lots of straps just say 'man whore'.

The police officer took her sweet time writing the tickets. Too long, so long in fact, Kadaj looked at Loz who nodded and tazed the officer. They then sped off again.


End file.
